The day I developed an eating disorder

I remember the day quite clearly. It was a hot December day at the beach in Florida. I was hanging out under an umbrella in the shade while my sister was taking in the sun. The rest of the family was out looking for shells and wading in the water. Then it hit me, I had to throw up. Like NOW. So I started digging a hole in the sand as fast as I could because I had no idea what else to do.

I threw up the pizza that I had just eaten. I felt like I got hit by a Mack Truck. I wasn’t done being sick yet so I made my way to the bathroom and told my sister I’d be right back.

But I didn’t come back.

After a gruesome experience in a public beach bathroom, I had to get back to my family because the lights were looking a bit dim. As I was turning the corner to leave the bathroom, passed out, smacked the wall and hit the floor.

I got my first stomach flu.

I must have been gone awhile because my sister was getting worried. As she made her way to the bathroom, she saw someone searching for whoever I was with and they lead her back to me. I don’t remember much after that particular moment…..other than violent vomiting and…well, ya know….for the next 12-ish hours.

Now you as asking, “How did this trigger your eating disorder?”. When I had recovered, I loved and I mean LOVED how much weight I had lost. How flat my stomach was. How the bloat was gone. It was that moment when I stopped eating. I became a (self-diagnosed) anorexic and it lasted off and on for the next 12 years.

Almost 25 years later, this occurs to me. I actually made that connection because I just got hit with the stomach virus last week. The whole household did actually. We share everything. And by everything, I mean everything. First it hit B, then Mamma, then Daddy. It overlaps just enough that we can manage to take care of each other.

I was jokingly telling a friend that it would be nice if we could keep the flu weight loss off, but I know it’s not possible. That 5-10 lbs will make it’s way back within a week. Any weight that came off the unhealthy way is almost always guaranteed to make it’s way back on. So don’t get your hopes up.

You know what I actually end up enjoying after a bout with the stomach bug? Fueling up after 2-3 days of barely eating. Got to restock my energy so I can get back to training…..and walking up a flight of stairs without feeling lightheaded.

Take care people. And sanitize, sanitize, sanitize!

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A hot meal a too much to ask for

I weigh my food. Have been for years, so I can be a stickler when it comes to sharing my food.

Yeah yeah, I know. If I don’t share, how can I teach my kid to? But in my defense, I never shared my food prior to having a child nor do I eat off of other people’s plates. It’s been a pet peeve of mine for…..I dunno….my whole life? So imagine what was going through my head in the below scenario.

Picture it: in the kitchen 2019. I’m getting food out to make breakfast and start measuring for myself.
“Boden, do you want any eggs?”
“No thank you Mamma.”
So I proceed with measuring out my meal and while cooking it, I ask again,
“Boden, are you sure you don’t want any eggs?”
“I said no thank you Mamma!”
My egg white are made, whole grain rice cakes with a serving of Nutella and 145g of sliced strawberries.
I sit down to eat.
“Mamma, I want some eggs. I like how they smell.”

So of course, I’m not going to tell my son he can’t eat eggs. So I leave my food on the table while I whip up some for him.

Raise your right hand if you feel my pain?

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The Bucket List

I probably wrote about it before and I’m going to write about it again; I don’t do new years resolutions. I don’t see it as “new year, new you”. You’re the same damn person, you just a little fire lit under your arse. While I applaud everyone who wants to make changes to get healthy, I see about 90% of those same people burn out by February.

At the same time, I want to join the fun. I want to have something to get excited about. Something to look forward to. So I decided to do a bucket list. And on that bucket list are fun places to go and things to do…it is not centered about weight loss, “getting my bikini body” and all that balderdash that we hear every winter.

What’s on your short list? Where do you want to visit? Do you want to try a new sport? Read a new book? Learn to sew? The world is yours! All it takes is a little planning and hopefully not too much money.

Can you guess what one of the items on my bucket list is?

Making the most of a warm(er) winter day
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All the world needs is….more kid-friendly gyms

I get it.  Parenting is hard.  You can’t fly at the seat of your pants anymore because you are at someone else’s beck and call.  Going out with your friends, a grocery trip or even going to the bathroom takes a babysitter, stars aligning and a sacrificial lamb.  

I’ve been in your shoes and I still am.  You may think you are alone and that your situation is unique but I guarantee you, it isn’t.  There is someone, somewhere in the history of mankind that has been in your situation and got out alive. 

Now onto my point…..

You might have given up Ladies Night at the club with penny pitchers but you don’t have to give up the gym.  Yes it can be a little more difficult but it can be done.  Of course hikes are kid-friendly and working out at home works for many but if you are like me, you have to get out of the house and socialize with people.  That said, I am on a mission to find all the gyms, studios, boxes, spas, etc that have some form of childcare so moms and dads can get their sweat on.  If they have a class for the little guy at the same time, bonus points for them!  

One of my favorite things to do is drop in at gyms and try new classes.  So it comes to no surprise that the first question I always ask is, “Do you have childcare?”  

I don’t expect a full service daycare with full-time staff.  I’m realistic.  This is a catch-22.  I find that parents don’t bring their kids to the gym because there is no childcare whereas the gym doesn’t have childcare because they cannot justify paying for staff when no kids are there. 

B using his imagination and making a game of things around the box

BUT if they offer it, people will come!  I guess it’s a risk most don’t want to take.   (I promise you now, any business I open will be kid-friendly)     

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Cookie Meditation

Meditation comes in all forms.  I by no means am an expert in meditation but I’m trying to learn!  According to Wikipedia, “Meditation is a practice where an individual uses a technique, such as focusing their mind on a particular object, thought or activity, to achieve a mentally clear and emotionally calm state.”

You know how at the end of yoga class when everyone is laying on their backs and the teacher is reading some touchy-feely passage from her book?

Well, I’m deaf so that doesn’t really apply to me.

So when I was on my recent trip to New Mexico last week with my ladies, at the end of the class I was determined to quiet my mind and meditate for those last 15 minutes.  Here is what went down:

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*Out of the blue I had the sensation of the best damn sugar cookie I ever bit into with big sugar crystals on top*
(thinking to myself)
“Where the hell did I get that cookie?  What makes that sugar cookie hard and the chocolate chip cookies so soft?  Is it baking soda?  Baking powder?  Oh man, Springerle cookies.   So chewy.  I wonder how hard those are to make?  I might be better off just buying them.   I bet Jody knows. Plus I need the pin to roll them out.”

Needless to say, when I “woke up” I was relaxed and happy.  I mean c’mon, I meditated about cookies!!

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Just add water

It’s really that simple.  To make bone broth all you need is bones and water.  I went to the meat counter at my grocery store this morning because I didn’t see any bones on the shelves.  Not all grocery stores do anyway.  I asked, he delivered!  He went in the back where all the bones were and cut one in half so if fits in my pot.

The best part is that it cost less than $4.00!

I get an ENTIRE pot of bone broth for less than $4.00!

I had some carrots and onions at home so I just cut them in half and put them in the pot with a splash of vinegar.  2 hours later my house is smelling fantastic!


“Vinegar?!” you say.  Yes vinegar. Using an acid, like vinegar, helps break down the collagen and connective tissues.

Bone Broth is all the rage right now for their health benefits: from weight loss, joint health and improving their skin.   Personally, I’m going to joint health and improving my skin but if I lose some weight in the mine-toon, I won’t complain.

Once this is done, I fill up a Pendleton mug and sprinkle a dash of “Slap Ya Mama” seasoning on top.  Voila!  A spicy hug in a mug.

Now get your cauldron out and start boiling!  You can thank me later.

Happy Halloween!


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……and breathe

“What if we all took a deep breath before we made a bad decision?”

Honestly I have no idea who said that but I caught that line as I was putting weights away in my garage gym.  Granted the show was about food and healthy living but I think it applies across the board.

Want to binge on ice cream?  Take a deep breath.
Want to yell at your kid?  Take a deep breath.
Coworker mess up a project you’ve been slaving over? Take a deep breath.
Imbecile cut you off on the highway?  Take a deep breath.

The day before my wedding, I was a MESS.  Not nervous about the wedding itself, but the caterer messed up the order.  The order that was supposed to feed 100 people.  I lost it on the messenger, my brother.  To this day I regret flipping my lid but I will never forget what my (then) 8 year old nephew did.  He walked up to me, grabbed both my hands, looked me dead in the eyes and took a very deep breath.

I was immediately calm.  All it took was a deep breath.  And shortly after, an apology to my brother.

Try it.  You just might be surprised what the power of your breath can do.

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