I think I have FINALLY made a breakthrough. Holy crap!
If you read my blog from the beginning, I admitted that I had a eating disorder when I was younger that I never think I will truly recover from. My ma always tells me that I’m scared of food. Yes and no. I love food which is why I don’t buy certain things. If I buy those “certain” things, they are gone in one sitting.
I’m not even joking.
A chocolate bar won’t last more than 1 sitting in my house. Check my freezer. There is nothing in there.
So back to my breakthrough. The other day I was feeling like crap. I mean cranky, bloated, yucky crap. I found myself in Marshalls with B getting coffee and dog treats when I saw a 2-day Cleanse drink. It was horrible timing because I bought it. SMH.
Well, it just so happens that the very next day I got my first period since June 17, 2013. That explains why I was feeling “ick” and vulnerable. Well, today I decided to take a sip of that cleanse. I mean, what’s the worse that can happen. Uhh….the first sip and I feel like crap. Not physically, but mentally…emotionally. I’m so mad at myself. Why?! I don’t need it! On top of being mad, I’m feeling ashamed. It’s like I lost myself for a minute.
The younger me who bought into all the hype; the cleanses, diet pills, “being skinny” bullshit had made a brief appearance. I shut her down fast. I’m loving the new strong, confident Mamma that I have come to be that doesn’t give a rats ass about thigh gaps and counting calories. It took me all but 2 seconds to dump everything down the drain.
Best $7.99 I ever wasted.