My $7.99 breakthrough

I think I have FINALLY made a breakthrough.  Holy crap!

If you read my blog from the beginning, I admitted that I had a eating disorder when I was younger that I never think I will truly recover from.  My ma always tells me that I’m scared of food.  Yes and no.  I love food which is why I don’t buy certain things. If I buy those “certain” things, they are gone in one sitting.

I’m not even joking.

A chocolate bar won’t last more than 1 sitting in my house.  Check my freezer.  There is nothing in there.

So back to my breakthrough.  The other day I was feeling like crap. I mean cranky, bloated, yucky crap.  I found myself in Marshalls with B getting coffee and dog treats when I saw a 2-day Cleanse drink.  It was horrible timing because I bought it.  SMH.

Well, it just so happens that the very next day I got my first period since June 17, 2013. That explains why I was feeling “ick” and vulnerable.  Well, today I decided to take a sip of that cleanse.  I mean, what’s the worse that can happen.  Uhh….the first sip and I feel like crap.  Not physically, but mentally…emotionally.  I’m so mad at myself.  Why?!  I don’t need it!  On top of being mad, I’m feeling ashamed.    It’s like I lost myself for a minute.

The younger me who bought into all the hype; the cleanses, diet pills, “being skinny” bullshit had made a brief appearance.  I shut her down fast.  I’m loving the new strong, confident Mamma that I have come to be that doesn’t give a rats ass about thigh gaps and counting calories.  It took me all but 2 seconds to dump everything down the drain.

Best $7.99 I ever wasted.

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