Tag Archives: toddler

The evils of the checkout lane…or not

Oftentimes you hear health nuts warning of the evils of the snacks and candy in the checkout lane at the grocery store.

“Avoid them!”

“Be strong!”

I’m going to take the other side. Bear with me a moment.

Grocery shopping with my little dude isn’t always a walk in the park.  I have to bribe him.  Sometimes with one of those free cookies from the bakery.  So I save that cookie for last meaning he has to behave the ENTIRE time in order to get it.

On this particular day, I asked him if he wanted Cheez-Its (because he snagged his Daddy’s the day before).  “No” he says.

So I wait a few minutes, “Are you sure you don’t want Cheez-Its?”

“No Mommy!!”

Now in the cracker aisle, “Bubba, Cheez-Its?”


So I go about our shopping.  He behaves so he gets the cookie at the end and now we are in the checkout lane.

I place all the food on the belt and whip out my wallet.

“Mamma, I want Cheez-Its.”

Oh shit.  Now normally, I would say no because I don’t cater to every damn wish/request my son has.  He has to learn that you don’t always get what you want.  However, a full-blown tantrum while checking out at the grocery store I always try to avoid.

Anxiously scanning the shelves, BOOM, Cheez-Its.

Crisis averted.



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Next level of mommy brains

Holy busy Batman!  I never have time for anything anymore!  I have about 5 medical bills that I need to call the hospital about, clean laundry in a pile in B’s room, my dirty hamper is overflowing, hair needs to be cut and colored (cancelled and rescheduled 3 times), physical therapy on my shoulder has yet to begin (however a pat on the back to me that I got the x-ray taken care of), boxes need to be unpacked from our kitchen remodel…..

I’m going to stop there because I don’t want to think about anything else that needs to be done.  I’m seriously over it. If it’s not coming to mind right now, it’s either not that important or I’m at capacity.

Picture below is the perfect example.  For about 2 months, every damn time I do my makeup, I make a mental note that I need to purchase some blush. The second I leave that bathroom….every time….I forget.  Now I’m blogging about it and guess what?  I still forgot.  Only came to mind because I was going through my phone for pictures to add to this post.

..and just for shit and giggles, literally, this is how I found my son pooping the other day.  I must admit, it’s a pretty nice bathroom, no?

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#toddlerlogic at it’s finest

Happy Labor(less) Day!

This morning started off beautifully.  We came home from camping early because clearly B is too young to go.  I was anything but relaxed so I told my husband to stay and enjoy himself while we went home and did our thing. I had to work on the kitchen anyway (new kitchen remodel begins on Tuesday!)

So back to this morning; it’s quiet, crisp outside and I get B watching cartoons while I cook breakfast and start emptying out the kitchen.  We eat, relax, color, play with stickers and then the little dude tells me he wants to go for a walk.  Why, YES, my son!  I’ll admit, it’s been very lazy around here since I’m recovering from suspected food poisoning so his wanting to move around got my *ss in gear.

But wait….he doesn’t want to put on clothes.

So there I was tripping over myself trying to get dressed with a half naked giggling toddler clinging to my ankle.   Finally got my clothes on injury free and attempted to get the dude dressed when he threw an epic meltdown sh*t show.

“B, do you want to go for a walk?”
“Then you need to put on some clothes.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!” (flinging body to the floor)

So I had to pull the at-home equivalent of “I’m turning this car around!”

…..I got back into my PJs.

It’s not often I want to put on pants and go outside but I’ve found an exception.  These Flux Joggers from Athleta.  Don’t ask questions, don’t argue.  Just go buy these and thank me later.

While I was hoping to get an Instagram filtered picture walking B in these joggers this morning, looks like that isn’t going to happen at the moment.




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Naptime Conversations

Oh bloody hell.  It’s karma.

My husband once told me that I talk too much when he gets up in the morning.  B must get it from me.

Me: “Alright buddy, it’s naptime”
B: “Milk?”
Me: “Okay, but stay in bed. I’ll be right back.”
B: “Okay mamma”

Me: “Here’s your milk.  Now go night-night.”
B: “Lay down!”
Me: “Okay, I’ll lay down with you but you have to go to sleep.”
B:  “Okay mamma.”
B: “Mamma, boobie.”
Me: “No boobie Boden. Go. To. Sleep.”
B: *whines* “BOOOOBIE!!!!!!”
Me: “Go to sleep or I’m leaving.”
B: *sigh* “Oooookay”

B: “Mamma.  Water. Phone”
Me: “No. I don’t want my phone and water.  It’s night night time”
B: “Coffee?”
Me: *laughing* “No I don’t want any coffee either” (It’s 3pm by the way)
B: “Mamma, I’m going to sleep.”
Me: “Okay. Mamma is sleeping too.”
B: “Mamma. Mamma. Mamma. Mamma.” (tapping my face)
Me: opening my eyes “Yes sweetie?”
B: “I want po’corn”
Me: “No.  You can have some popcorn tonight.
B: “Okay. Mamma, I go to sleep.”
Me: *closes eyes*

B: “Mamma. Mamma. Mamma. Mamma” (tapping my face again)
Me: *opening eyes*
B: “Make daddy cake”
Me: “We will make the cake after our nap.  Can I take a nap?”
B: “Yes Mamma”
Me: *close eyes*

B: “Mamma. Mamma. Mamma” (tapping face) ” Find LuLu”
Me: “No. Maryluci is sleeping and you need to sleep too”
B: “Okay Mamma”

B: “Mamma. Mamma. Mamma.” (hitting shoulder this time) “More milk” (signing and I swear to God batting his eyes)
Me: “No milk, honey.  Go to sleep!”
B: *sighs and rolls over*

B: “Mamma!  Shhhhh!”
Me: *opening eyes.  Blank stare*
B: “I go to sleep.  Shhhh!”
Me: *closing eyes*
B: “Mamma!” *tapping face* “No No No! You no sleep. I sleep.”
Me: “Okay yeah sure, whatever buddy” *closing eyes*
B:  “Mamma! Shhhhh!”

B: “Mamma. Mamma. Mamma. Mamma.” (tapping face)
Me:  “Okay that’s it. Mamma is leaving.”

Put the little dude in his crib.  He’s wailing and screaming that he wants to sleep in the bed with me.  Um. No. I shut the door and leave.  A little cry never hurt a kid. Sure wears them out though.

15 minutes later I go check on him because chances are he crapped himself.

Me:  “Bubba, it’s time to nap. Please don’t cry.” *sniff sniff* “Did you poop?”
B: *giggling* “Nooooooo”
Me: “Bubba, did you poop?”
B: “Yes!”

Nice little surprise for me.  The blue raspberry Italian Ice from the Country Fair yesterday that stained every dang thing it touched made it’s way through and managed to turn his butt cheeks the same lovely shade of blue. Diaper changed and B is back in his crib.


I run out to the car and grab his beloved hippo. God forbid anything happened to it.

Upon my return and still wailing….
B: “Lay down!!!!” *pointing to the bed*

At this point he has been crying for a solid 20 minutes. So I lay down….he’s out in less than 5.

Now was that so goddamn hard??





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(Still) Alive and Kickin’

Well hello!

Yes I’m still very much alive. VERY much alive.  My little dude wants my undivided attention most of the time and when I’m not with him, I’m at work.  So basically, I’m indisposed 24 hours a day.  So busy that I haven’t even stripped the pee-soaked sheets off the bed yet.  However, I could be changing those sheets rather than blogging….which would you choose? I’ll get to it some time today.


Lately neither one of us has been very impressed with the food around here.  I can’t blame him for not wanting dinner when I don’t want it either.  I admit it, I eat too healthy, don’t salt my dishes enough…..my stuff is just plain boring.  Pinterest came to the rescue!  I needed something fast and delicious and that is what I got.

Creamy Salsa Verde Chicken foil pack.

I followed the recipe close enough. First off, I skipped the rice.  Not to cut calories or anything but quite frankly, I’m not a fan of rice.  I’m only a fan of it when it’s in my sushi.

Since I skipped the rice, I didn’t think I had to follow the weight of the chicken and cooking time so closely….and for once I was correct!  Given my track record with straying from a recipe when cooking, I was expecting a disaster.  Never happened.  *happy dance*

No rice, huge 11 oz pieces of chicken, sealed in the packet (with all listed ingredients) and cook for 40 minutes at 400*.

Holy crap this was good.  Why B wasn’t as crazy about it as I was blows me away.  Sometimes I think he doesn’t have taste buds.  Long story short, I ate almost all of it.  In 3 sittings.  *burp*

I MUST add that I was able to fit half a foil pack in my macros for dinner.  SCORE!

I used to have 2 desks in my home office and since becoming a Ma, my office now serves as my office/play room. No room for that 2nd table anymore.  So the hubs sawed the legs off the table to make it short enough to B.  A simple fix makes my man a genius.  I never would have thought to do that.  (Husband needs to be on flea market flip?)

Of course the table is mostly used as a step stool to get up in the bay window.  Not my favorite but I let him every once in awhile when I’m in the room.  Plus, how adorable does he look watching his daddy work on the truck??


My latest hobby is making to-do lists.  I love that satisfied feeling you get when you mark something off your list (and pray it doesn’t make its way back on).  I even enjoy buying the cute paper I write my to-do list on!  There is NO way I can function without it and anyone who says they can is lying.  Or sans kids.

Speaking of which, need to get started on that list.  Just crossed off number 1; “drink coffee”.



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“12 Days of Christmas”

Daycare was closed today….and more than half my team was off for the holidays so it was incredibly quiet at work.  B and I were getting restless and I was running out of ideas to do to keep him occupied.  He was outplayed with play dough.  Had enough Legos.  Wasn’t even slightly interested in his indoor trampoline.  Then it occurred to me to modify the “12 Days of Christmas” WOD that everyone and their grandmother was posting on IG and FB.

B and I giggled for the 30-something minutes it took me to do this.  Definitely would have gone faster if I wasn’t chasing him around. Heck, he made it more fun!  Granted, it was near impossible for me to do pushups when he flopped himself on my back but we were both laughing!

By the 10th,  I was sweating a bit harder than I had expected.  Will definitely do variations of this with B in the future.


For the ab mat situps, B was actually hugging me so those were a bit harder.  For the chair dips, he was elsewhere.  Pushups and the plank, he climbed on top of me, as expected.

*disclaimer – if you are going to be swinging a kettlebell around  your kids, BE CAREFUL!  If they are hugging your leg, put the KB down and do something else, like goblet squats.



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Running naps

B finally learned how to walk.   Which means more running around for me too.  Once he figured out what his legs and feet are meant to do, he wants to use then ALL the time!  Good luck trying to pick the kid up.  He will wiggle and flop around until you put him down.   He definitely takes after his Mamma; just wants to run around!

Speaking of running, still buckling B in my jogger on the weekends and getting some fresh air.   He is really good motivation actually.   But not in the way you think.

As any Mamma will tell you,  its exhausting chasing a kid.  I don’t care how good shape you are in.   Its tiring.   The solution, put your kid in the stroller and go for a run.   B completely calms down and mellows out when we run.  And you can bet that when I’m running,  he will fall asleep.  So how is THAT for motivation.   He fights me tooth and nail when its naptime at home but when we go for a run, he’s out in no time. 

It was a cool morning, 59* to be precise and not a cloud in the sky.  I logged some miles,  he got some rest and then we had a snack at Whole Foods. 


I love mornings like this 🙂

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